What is “self-efficacy” – and why is it crucial for a happy life?
Have you ever bravely taken on a challenge that you thought was almost impossible – and then mastered it? Or made a big decision despite many reservations from yourself and others, without knowing HOW to get there – simply because your heart drew you there? Or pushed through with something – despite feeling nervous – by giving yourself courage? Or taken heart and shared something critical with others because it was more important to you that things turned out really well than that everything ran “smoothly”? That’s exactly what self-efficacy is!
It describes the deep inner confidence that we can make a difference, that our decisions and actions have an impact—on our lives, our energy, our satisfaction.
Self-efficacy is not a talent that you either have or don’t have. It is a skill and an inner attitude that we can develop and train! You will find some ideas on this in the following.
Why is self-efficacy so important?
Many committed and sensitive people have the desire to make a difference – yet often feel powerless in our loud, stressful world.
When we feel helpless, we resign ourselves and freeze up. A profound feeling of helplessness is even considered a characteristic emotional pattern in depression!
On the other hand, if you believe in your own fundamental creative power, you will feel more confident and find it easier to take action.
But how does that work? We only have a limited sphere of influence. And our world currently gives us plenty of reasons to feel overwhelmed by worries and doubts!
Self-efficacy therefore requires a certain amount of “practice” – and an inner attitude that gives us inner security and confidence even in the midst of chaos and external uncertainty:
“I can take care of myself. I can influence my experience. I can overcome challenges. I can shape my life.”
Self-efficacy is therefore not only an important pillar of resilience, but also a prerequisite for a happy and meaningful life in which we consciously decide where our energy flows and where we want to go.
Five keys to greater self-efficacy
How can you strengthen your self-efficacy? Here are four key aspects that you can integrate into your everyday life:
1. Self-confidence: Consciously acknowledge your successes
We are often unaware of how many challenges we have already overcome. Our brain tends to remember failures more easily (“negativity bias”). But you can change that!
Learning tip: Every evening, write down one thing you did well that day—no matter how small. This trains your brain to sharpen its focus on your own strengths.
Tip: If you are looking for more inspiration on how to focus your inner experience on resilience, neuropsychologist Rick Hanson provides wonderful suggestions in his books, such as “Buddha’s Brain.”
2. Self-care: Protect and regenerate your energy
Without energy, there is no self-efficacy! If you constantly feel drained, you lack the strength to take action and shape your life.
That’s why conscious energy management is crucial.
Use the following check-in questions for more self-care:
- What do I NEED right now – emotionally or physically? (Recognize your needs)
- What could be good for me RIGHT NOW? (Formulate a solution)
- What small action can I do for myself RIGHT NOW? (That’s why it’s called “self-care.” But that doesn’t mean we should do everything ourselves. “Taking action” can also mean calling a good friend because you know it will do you good to hear her voice!)
Learning tip: Sometimes it’s enough to take a deep breath or consciously take a break. That may sound trivial, but in those moments you are showing yourself: “I am taking care of myself.” And that strengthens your confidence in yourself and your ability to take good care of yourself.
3. Self-compassion: Accepting obstacles and your own mistakes as part of the journey
Self-efficacy does not mean that everything always works out. On the contrary! We often need to be patient to achieve our heart’s desires. The key is to not give up when things get difficult and to continue believing in ourselves even when we experience setbacks or even failure.
Remember:
- Mistakes are not signs of weakness or even failure—they are important learning steps.
- Obstacles and setbacks are not the end – they are part of the journey.
- You are not alone – we all struggle with insecurities. It’s just that you can’t usually see it from the outside!
Learning tip: Talk to yourself as you would talk to a good friend or a small child who is upset. Not with harsh criticism, but with kindness and empathy. Feel free to place a hand on your heart or give yourself a hug. It may sound strange, but it feels good!
4. Self-esteem: Set your own standards for success and values
Our sense and understanding of “success” often comes purely from outside sources: we achieve something that many others (supposedly) also want. And/or we learn through praise from others that we have done something well. It’s just a shame that this makes us doubly dependent on external factors and other people, over whom we often have only limited influence. Sure, we can strive to “achieve” common criteria for success or praise. But then we are not free inside, and external criticism or lack of success ultimately even shapes our sense of self-worth!
Set your own criteria for success!
- What does “success” mean to you personally? Where should it lead? How should it feel?
- Do you already experience this feeling in what you are currently doing?
- What is a learning-optimistic success goal that you want to set for yourself right now? How will you know when you have achieved it?
Once we have clarified this for ourselves (or reflect on it repeatedly), we no longer chase after every carrot. It protects us from waking up one day and asking ourselves in horror: How on earth did I end up in THIS life that I never wanted?!
It also empowers us to “sail against the wind”—to do things that go against prevailing opinion or habit. And to achieve our heart’s desires in the long term.
Learning impulse: Clarity about our own values is crucial – they are like guiding stars that show us the way so that we don’t get lost in the open sea of possibilities. If we are aware of our values and constantly reflect on whether we are really living them, we can deal better with it when other people are disappointed in us or criticize us. This means that our self-esteem cannot be shaken.
5. Self-leadership: Use your intuition as a compass
Intuition is an aspect that you won’t find in classic definitions of self-efficacy – but in my view, it is fundamentally important: because self-efficacy is also good self-leadership.
Self-leadership means listening to your inner voice and trusting it.
Because it’s not only important that you take action—it’s also important that your actions lead in a direction that is in line with your real desires and goals. And for that, you need to be in touch with your intuition.
- Your intuition shows you what is right for you.
- Mindfulness helps you to perceive its signals.
- Self-efficacy means trusting these impulses and acting accordingly.
That is why I advocate viewing intuition and mindfulness as the “foundation of resilience”!
Learning tip: Listen to your inner voice every day – how do your gut feeling and your heart react to a particular situation? They show you whether something is right for you. If you allow yourself some time and peace to do this, you will also recognize and feel more and more clearly what your true path is.
Butterflies can “smell” a flower and potential mates from miles away. Intuition, on the other hand, is not associated with any particular sense organ and can express itself in various ways: as a “secret sense of smell,” an inner voice, an inner image, a gut feeling, an emotion—or colloquially as a “sixth sense”!
Steps to greater self-efficacy
Remind yourself in everyday life: You choose every day:
- What and who do you give your attention to?
- What small steps can you take today to consciously direct your energy?
- How can you be kinder and more compassionate to yourself?
- Where should you set clearer boundaries and “show your edge”?
- Where are you just functioning—and where are you practicing healthy self-leadership?
And: Which parties in your inner parliament do you give a voice to? Of course, it’s important to listen to the skeptics. To take doubts and concerns seriously. And to integrate our inner shadow children.
But we should decide for and with confidence in our creative power. For a good present and a good future. And this choice takes place every single day!
What do you think about self-efficacy? Is it just an abstract ideal or an inner attitude that really carries you through life and moves you forward?
Feel free to write me in the comments what self-efficacy means to you!
Hast du dich schon mal mutig einer Herausforderung gestellt, die du für fast unschaffbar gehalten hast –